(An edited version of this article appeared in the March 1997 issue of Claims Magazine)

Shoulder to the Wheel, Eyes on the Horizon; or be HAPPY, be EFFECTIVE

by Ronald J. Zaremba,CPCU,AIC,ARM

Unfortunately, the word "happy" has been corrupted in popular use. Happy means to be serene, confident, open, glad; not silly or giddy. If you think of happy as a hamburger clown or one one the seven dwarfs, you miss the point of "happy-ness".

Happiness is important in effectively dealing with people, especially unhappy people. Your mental state and attitude is contagious. People, happy or unhappy, would much prefer to deal with a happy person who makes them feel good. If you are happy, they are much more likely to consider and take your suggestions and ideas without conflict. Thus by being happy, you are more effective.

Your happiness is a very personal thing. You determine your level of happiness by your thoughts, actions and deeds. Happiness is not just the absence of pain. You can have pain and experience happiness. Many experience happiness in spite of pain. Admittedly there are external forces that can and will influence your physical and mental well-being that you can not control. However, nearly all of the things you need to think, do and say to be happy are directly controllable by you. The cliches, "shoulder to the wheel" and "eyes on the horizon" may first appear to make an uncomfortable physical position. In fact, they are the basis for most people's happiness and sense of well being.

Here are five concepts to keep in mind to keep your shoulder to the wheel in your personal pursuit of happiness. First, do what is right. Establish principles to guide you in your life. The best source for our principles is from our religious beliefs. There are a lot of very unhappy people wandering around out there solely because they do not have a personal compass to tell them right from wrong. You should know your principles and those who know you should also know what your principles are. In other words, your thoughts and actions should consistently demonstrate your principles to others. As John Rutledge said in a recent issue of Forbes; " A handshake with a person who tries to do the right thing is more comforting than a ton of legal documents signed by a bad guy".

Be honest, first with yourself and especially with others. Honesty does not mean being tactless and brutal. Admit your mistakes immediately and try to correct them. Ask for the help of others to rectify the mistake you made. Sometimes the re-evaluation of the situation undertaken to correct a mistake reveals a better way of doing the same thing. Learning by experience is a nice way of saying you are learning from your mistakes. Honesty builds trust and reliability with others. The complexity of deception grows geometrically as the time to practice the deception continues. Keep it simple, and honest.

Be polite and courteous. I have made an ass out of myself more times by being impolite, impatient and rude. There is no excuse, period. If you are right, do not lessen your position by being rude. The other party may be forced to tolerate your rudeness, but they will not condone it nor are they likely to forget it. If you are not right, you cannot afford to be any thing but polite and courteous. Shouting and swearing may intimidate others and obtain short term results, but it is more likely to work against you. You do not have to do business or deal with people who are rude, shout and swear. Tell them to leave and return when they are willing to discuss the matter in a less offensive manner. Never tell an obnoxious irrational person that they are irrational. On the telephone, simply hang up. Treat others the way THEY expect to be treated. If you are rude, apologize.

Consider the other person's perspective. Bear in mind that a major reason you are here is to help others. To help others, you need to see their needs as they see them. Your perspective of what you believe their needs are, is not the same as seeing their needs from their perspective. It is the difference between the "golden rule " and the "platinum rule". The golden rule says to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. The platinum rule says you should do unto others as they would like you to do unto them. Always, if it is at all possible, let the other person save face. Give them a way to "win" in the transaction. Leave something on the table. Don't be piggy. Don't maximize short term results at the cost of long term relationships and profit.

Know what it is you are doing. Ignorance is not bliss. Diving into untested and unknown waters is dangerous. Be a professional. Learn the necessary skills and knowledge to perform the tasks assigned to you. Keep your skills current so those who depend on you will have confidence in your ability to perform. You will feel better about yourself and experience a lot less stress. If you do not know what you are doing, get help or get out. As a professional, participate in your professional organizations.

Always remember that life is short. Remember your religious values and principles. Most of what you do has little relevance beyond tomorrow and even less beyond the next month. The past is interesting, instructive, but unchangeable. You can't change the past so do not worry about it. The future is anticipated, but uncertain. Worrying about the future does not reduce the element of uncertainty. Plan, don't worry. What is important is the present. What is there to worry about in the present if you have faith? Keep your eyes on the horizon, but remember to look down to enjoy the flowers at your feet. If you are not standing in flowers, keep moving. Your happiness (and to a large extent, those around you) depends on you.